Self-love isn’t selfish

So today’s post is going to be a bit of a personal one. Recently I have been a big advocate for mental health and I’ve spent a fair bit of time researching various different techniques on how to properly manage my mind, something which I think everyone would benefit from doing. Mental health is something that I really want to touch upon more often on my blog and social pages. Not only does it help me express how I’m feeling, but I am also hoping that someone may relate and feel less alone; I know reading mental health blogs certainly comfort me.

This post is going to explore the technique of self-love. Like many, I often suffer from anxiety and stress causing me to go through phases of self-doubt, quite often feeling like I may not be good enough and blame myself for certain things that are out of my control, and actually I have learned that self-love is the starting point for overcoming these emotions. By saying I want to embrace self-love may come across as big-headed, that I think I’m the best person to walk the earth and that everyone must bow down to me. But no. Absolutely not. Self-love is not about beating others down in order to make yourself feel better, it’s about focusing on yourself and how you are actually feeling. I am never going to feel happy with myself if  I’m constantly putting myself down. If I start by treating myself better, I should in theory then be a happier person and look at situations with a different perspective. Self-love is simply about accepting and appreciating yourself.

Self-love isn’t about morphing yourself into the perfect person. The first rule for any mental health management is that perfection is not achievable. Think about it; if you had the perfect house, perfect job, perfect body etc, would you be completely happy? Or would you be trying to achieve the next best thing? Perfection just doesn’t exist! A good starting point for approaching self-love is focusing on what you consider a flaw, but looking upon it in a different light. For example, one insecurity of mine is my body. I don’t have the most toned body in the world, I have a few wobbly bits which at times really get to me, especially when it comes to shopping trips etc. But actually, my body is amazing! Those wobbly bits show that I am fortunate enough to eat, and my body as a whole allows me to do things some people would long to do and keeps me going. I should be entirely grateful for my body, I need to embrace it, not hate it – a bit of cellulite or a few stretch marks here and there shouldn’t make me doubt myself! Why not give it a try? Pick out one of your insecurities and spin it into a different light? Yes, you may need to get a bit deep and spiritual, but I found it did have some sort of impact on me. I also found it was best to write this all down in a diary style, purely so I can refer back to it when I feel low.

I have also found that a smile goes a long way. I can be grumpy at times, I may get road rage, or get annoyed if someone nudges me by accident, but by approaching things more positively and treating (or killing) people with kindness not only reflects positively on you but actually makes yourself feel so much better!

The main point of this post is to indicate the start of my self-love journey. I am not a poster girl for self-love in the slightest, in fact, I only started my journey 2 weeks ago, but I am trying to better myself by starting with myself. I didn’t wake up one day and think, “you know what, I’m bloody fantastic” and from then on loved myself. It’s a journey! There are ups and downs but its all about trying to hold a bit of perspective about the little things that I tend to worry about, which actually just do not matter. I need to appreciate all that I’ve done and where I am in my life as opposed to focusing on the future or worrying about the past. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, it actually makes you a better person. Let go of the little things, you don’t deserve to waste time on silly little things that you’re putting on yourself.

I hope you enjoyed reading my brain dump! As I say I want to upload more posts like this where I’m literally just writing down my thoughts and feelings, it just comes more natural to me and for me seems like a more authentic read, so let me know if its something you’d be interested in seeing more of!

 

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